I Am Lola Mae’s Granddaughter…

1 Comment

We all want to be known, yet put up walls and false faces and often fool even ourselves.  We want to be known but, apparently, we want to make you work at it.

Hiding Our Authentic Self

Hiding Our Authentic Self

Well, in the next four minutes I’ll do my best to show you Who I Am.  Because that’s the topic of today’s Daily Prompt.

I’m Lola Mae Smith’s granddaughter, and Mama Smith’s great-granddaughter — two salt of the earth, strong women who made much with little, who loved unconditionally, and who put their faith in God and did their best to make this earth a better place for everyone whose path they crossed, and I’m proud to carry on their line.  But talking about them is a very roundabout way of telling you about me, and since I only have four minutes I’ll try something more direct.

After spending some time with a lovely group of ladies seeking to know themselves more fully, I’ve learned that I’m a Six on the Enneagram, with a strong Seven wing.  Knowing someone’s Enneagram type is: (i) a little “woo-woo” for someone, like me, with a practical bent and from East Texas, but also (ii) very informative.  Just those four words: “I’m a __[fill in the blank with your number, from One to Nine)” tells you most of what you need to know about a person — how they approach a problem, why they do those things that irritate you, and how best to reach to their core.  The Six Type is, to quote from one apt description, “full of contradictions,” because our almost constant anxiety has us bouncing from one psychological state to another and, to allay our anxiety, we are loyal to a fault to what feels like a solid structure or belief on which to rely.  Here’s a link to a more thorough description of a Six.  And my Seven wing has me easily bored.  So between wanting to bounce around due to anxiety (Six) and wanting to bounce around due to boredom (Seven) … I’m perhaps a tad unstable.

9240606444_4b98064b27_z

Or, if you learn more from natal charts, I’m a double Scorpio (both my Sun and Moon were in Scorpio when I was born).  Which means I really, really love learning and and control.  Emotionally, intense is the operative word. Along with, need I say it again (no, at least the folks who know me don’t need to hear it said), I need to be in control.  So I struggle just a bit with trying to give up control and to live in the moment.  But I’m really, really trying!

My horoscope symbol

My horoscope symbol

I’m a loyal Texan who has lived the past 23 years in Southern California.  I’m such a good daughter of my Lone Star State, in fact, that my children — both born and raised in California — considered themselves Texans for years.

I grew up in a small conservative East Texas town full of lakes and rolling hills and pine trees and rose bushes and Southern Baptist churches, and spent most of my time not in school in some activity at church or with my nose in a book. I’ve wanted to live in Europe for as long as I can remember, and I love history and museums and learning about almost anything.

The Lone Star State

The Lone Star State

I love to read.  I read while I get dressed, while I eat, while I wait for my twitter feed to load, before bed, any spare minute I can find. And I write.  I’d love to write a book others would love to read.  To bring to life another world into which some other little girl who is stuck in a small little town can escape.

Surrounded by Books

Surrounded by Books

I’m a Mother who loves my children with all my heart and who does too much of some things for them and too little of other things.  I’d love a do-over — for them to shrink down to their baby selves again so I could just pour love into them and do all the things I now know would have been better to do.  But they are adults now and what’s done is done and all I can do is just the best I can, now.

Me and my babies

I’m a wife to an amazing husband who patiently reads my blogs and supports me and encourages me and loves me despite the craziness that I am.  He’s visionary and creative and romantic and I am incredibly lucky to have him in my life.

Jack, contemplating life

Jack, contemplating life

Well, my four minutes is almost up and I haven’t yet told you something incredibly important — I love God and am a disciple of Christ and want more than anything to be more like Him.  More loving, more self-less, more patient and kind.  I need lots and lots of practice.  And Jesus is there, loving me, no matter what, along the way.

Jesus

Jesus

That’s it, my four minutes is up.  Now, tell me all about YOU!

Scotland Remains United with England, Wales and Northern Ireland

1 Comment

After an historic vote, with the voting age lowered so more Scots could have their voices heard, 55% of Scots voted to stay United, against the 45% that voted for Independence.  Almost 85% of eligible voters turned out — an amazing result I wish we could replicate in our upcoming (albeit less historic) elections.  And if only more issues of this importance were decided by free and independent votes at a ballot box rather than guns, knives, bombs and terrorism.  In our recent visit to Scotland most folks we met said the vote would fail, and that the majority of Scots are happy being part of the UK and/or the headaches and costs of separation were enough to lead to a “No” vote, so I’m not surprised by the outcome, and I think the effort of having the campaign and vote by itself has helped lead to changes that will be better for all.  Congrats to our friends across the ocean for showing how it can and should be done!

600 Seconds to Write

5 Comments

Perfect … read my PostaDay prompt at exactly 6:00 a.m. therefore it will be easy to write for 10 minutes.  Right?  Somehow though it should make absolutely no difference starting at a round number — especially at an hour on the dot — seems organized and round and the perfect jumping off place from which to dive into a project.  Much better than 6:03.

Now that we have that established, what exactly will I write about during my 10 devoted minutes?  Today is Scotland’s Day of Destiny, hence an ideal choice.  Certainly sounds important, and, in fact, it is.  What a difference between the UK and Russia.  On one hand, we have a rather civilized vote where the people who live in the country will decide whether they want to go it alone, as an independent nation, or stay consciously joined as part of the United Kingdom.  Things seem to work somewhat different in other countries which decide to consider a split.  No bloodshed in Scotland, no need for monitors for fear of cheating at the polls.

Of course it was much different years ago, when battles between the English and Scots were rampant.  So perhaps there is hope for other countries, as well.

Jack and I visited Scotland for the first time in June, and loved it much more than we had anticipated.  The literary history and culture of Edinburgh spoke to me.  For Jack, it was the Scottish people he enjoyed the most.  The Royal Mile was packed with tourists but it managed to maintain its ancient charms nonetheless.  The first morning I ran out our door when I heard the bagpipes playing — I wouldn’t want to miss that once-in-a-lifetime experience!  Of course after a day I realized it was more like once-an-hour, as the type of Scotland experience the tourists expect is broadly displayed, especially on the Royal Mile, not wanting to miss an opportunity to take in some tourist dollars.  And the number of pubs releasing those who had way too much to drink onto the cobblestone streets was a little distressing.  Really, how many pubs does one city need?  But the City is magical and charming and a very … whoops, my 10 minutes is up!

Blogging 101: Intro to A Brave New World

1 Comment

OK, it isn’t completely new.  I started my blog last year, or even the year before.  First, to write about my vacation.  Then, one early morning when I was still doing Kundalini Yoga and working on Chakra 5 the Voice the thought that I wanted to do things that enriched my life popped into my head.  And it had nothing to do with travel.  Or, at least (since travel can be enriching) it wasn’t limited to only travel.  So I started An Enriching Life.  Now I’m the proud owner of two blogs, both of which sit unused most of the year.  Until I find spurts of energy or inspiration, like now!

This is me, with my husband, taking our tourist shot of the Prime Meridian on our vacation to the UK this summer …

Straddling the Eastern and Western Hemispheres in Greenwich, UK

Straddling the Eastern and Western Hemispheres in Greenwich, UK

I love, adore, am passionate about, dream of Europe.  Always have, presumably always will.  When I was dating my husband I went with him on lots of trips to the Tropics (his dream locale).  As soon as we married, I declared it my turn and ever since we’ve been getting to Europe as often a I can get us there.  Which is never often enough but so much more than I ever dreamed would be possible.

I love planning the trips almost as much as being there.  The research, the finding little out-of-the-way “secret” places to visit, the days on which special admissions may be had … I once considered becoming a Travel Agent and now I don’t know why I never did.  And I love to read, research, and write.  My husband encouraged me to start a blog and it seemed the perfect way to share our trip with our friends and family — I could just direct them to my blog and everyone could live vicariously through me.  But it’s time consuming to upload the photos and remember exactly what we did when, especially when it’s months afterward before I get around to finding time to blog.  And so my travel blog is very light on postings.

Despite not posting much in my one blog, I had the brilliant idea of starting a second blog, An Enriching Life, so I could expand past travel entries into spirituality and other topics that have enriched my life and that I want to share with others.  So now I have two blogs and still very few posts, and have yet to master the most basic blogging tools.  But I’m persistent if nothing else so will try Blogging 101 and see if that is the secret ingredient I’ve been missing all this time.

My goal — that a year from now I can look back at a long list of blog posts that get better as they go along, that have more variety and more use of the tools offered by WordPress and more understanding of what makes a blog the best it can be.

This is me:  I spend most of my day in a large, international law office practicing Land Use /Environmental Law.  For 23 years I’ve been doing that.  So if you’d like to hear about the California Environmental Quality Act or in general about land use issues in San Diego, I can talk for hours.  About San Diego politics.  CEQA.  404 permits.  The RWQCB storm water permit.  Lots of other acronyms.  But that’s not what I hope to do on this blog … in fact I hope to talk about almost anything but that.

Maybe my kids?  Here’s my recent college grad son, contemplating life as he gazes over the Pacific.

Peace in the Pacific

Peace in the Pacific

And my daughter, with her roommate Freshman year:

With the roommie, freshman year

With the roommie, freshman year my step kids:

And my step-daughter, with her Dad:

Waitin' on the train, with Dad

Waitin’ on the train, with Dad

And my step-son (Dad again):

Sunset

Or my amazing husband, who runs one company and is starting a second one to bring a broader spectrum of LED lights to the agricultural market so each of us can grow more of our own food, indoors, year-round.

So hard to decide.  So much to write.  So little time.  Come along with me, and let’s work together to find An Enriching Life.

Are You Overloading Your Common Sense?

2 Comments

7537238368_a0bf8fa717

Information can overwhelm us, seeping in from sources that surround us.  The internet at my fingertips, the cell phone in my purse, the iPad in my messenger bag, the television in my living room and the radio in my car … all pouring out facts and ideas in an endless stream whenever I open them up.  People have been accused of having more Book Sense than Common Sense long before the internet added to the tidal wave of data, though.  You can’t blame the information that’s simply existing out there awaiting your command to be let loose for not listening to what your gut tells you should be said or done (is “body wisdom” the same as “common sense”?) or not doing what experience and life lived thus far tell you should be done (or is that a better way to describe what makes “sense” common?) or whatever it is that is perceived as Common Sense.

Information is there to be used, absorbed, manipulated and turned off or on at your behest.  You can let it overtake you and wash you away, or you can master its rhythm and have a great ride by using it to support but not overwhelm you, by valuing your gut, your experience, and your spirit as well as all of the information in your mind to bring you in a wild, exhilarating ride through life — common sense, book sense, and all of your other senses fully engaged.  #postaday

Dream On

1 Comment

Top-5-ListsQuick!

What 5 things pop in my head as what I’d most like to wipe from my day?  Hard to choose just 5 … how do I know I’m choosing the best 5, oh my mind tends to wander and calculate and want to come up with the absolute best and not make any mistakes but the assignment said to quickly list the first 5 things so … here goes!

1. Thinking of every possible angle of every problem, pondering, issue spotting, afraid to take action because my action my not be the absolute best solution and I want to make the perfect decision, so it takes forever to get anything done.

2. Delaying action my gut tells me must be done to avoid having a worse problem in the future because I failed to do what my gut told me I needed to do because I really don’t want to do it and maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance I’m wrong and the bad thing won’t happen and then I won’t have to deal with it so, leave it for tomorrow because, after all, Tomorrow Is Another Day and didn’t that work out well for Ms. O’Hara?

10373757594_84d6985982_z

3. Drinking wine with dinner every night … Dr. Lipman says it’s just liquid sugar and sugar is not something sweet little ‘ole me really needs, and besides it makes me sleepy and unmotivated and unlikely to accomplish much the rest of the evening

4. Forgetting to be mindful and to live in the Now.  Right this minute.  Breathe.  Now.  Yes, Just. This. Second. Right. Now.

4608346117_1655557945_b

5. Getting frustrated, depressed, angry about what I’m doing In The Now and Not Doing Anything About It other than thinking, delaying, ruminating, complaining, questioning, avoiding

OK I sense a theme here — apparently I need to take action.  So, what would it be to go through the Day having eliminated all 5 of those habits?  Let’s see …

Digital_camera_artifact

I’d wake up with energy having not had any liquid sugar from the night before, with an organized day before me since before going off to bed I’d have had the motivation to list out my plans for the coming day and have ready what I needed to get off to a good start.  I’d then act on the matters before me, doing what my gut tells me needs to be done even though I really, really don’t want to do it and I can think of many reasons why I shouldn’t/may not have to/can’t do it.  But I’ll just do it.  And maybe what I do isn’t perfect, could be better, isn’t even the right thing to have done.  But it’s done but it’s unlikely to kill me and if it does then at least I had a full, well-lived day.  Where I lived in that day rather than worrying about what I did yesterday or don’t want to do tomorrow.

And I write and I read and I walk and I talk and I tell stories and I learn and I love and I go live the day fully, completely, perhaps wrongly but at least it’s lived and I spent it doing something worthwhile or joyful or relaxing or gratifying or helpful and not wasting it ruminating, worrying or procrastinating.

A day without my First 5 Habits I’d Like To Eliminate sounds like a pretty damn good day.  Maybe I’ll try it.  So glad for @postaday for getting me writing, blogging, and doing what I love.  Here’s a link to the challenge if you want to give it a try for yourself!

That voice in my head

12 Comments

It travels with me wherever I go; it is me, or at least it likes to think it is.  That voice in my head that is both me and a Judge/Jury/Critic of everything I do, or don’t do the way The Voice believes I should.  “You’re being lazy … think of all that you have to do.  The closets are a mess, there’s laundry to be done, you haven’t cleaned out your email inbox, and there you sit, sunk into the cushion of the lounge chair with a book in your hand, with all that you have to do going undone.  And can’t even write a measly 15 minutes a day.  Well, what good is it to aim for writing every day, anyway, given how poorly you write.  Is there anything you are good at?  Being lazy, it looks like to me.”

 Yes, that Voice.  Its incessant words are the background music to my life, stirring up a mix of anxiety always simmering, just waiting for the wrong word or red light or stressors to turn up the heat to boil.  I’m working on changing the words, turning down the volume, soothing its soul with compassion.  There’s enough anxiety waiting for me, I don’t need to create it for myself!
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/09/source-of-anxiety/

//p>

15 Minutes

1 Comment

Image

What can I do or say in 15 minutes that will interest you?  That will make my life memorable?  That will change the world?  Fifteen minutes is such a fleeting, easily wasted span of time.  I could … and too often do … flitter it away losing five Solitare games before I finally get the black and red cards in the right order and win.  Or checking my twitter account even when there’s no news breaking.  But 15 minutes — even less — is also all it takes to go from living a full, robust, influential life to death (Paul Walker’s five-minute spin around the block last week) or a woman to go from the pain of pushing to the joy of holding her warm, beautiful baby in her arms.  Fifteen minutes is the seemingly tiny amount of time I tell myself I can and should and WILL write each day.  Only I don’t.  

Use your 15 minutes wisely.  Be grateful for the minutes you’ve been granted.  And show compassion to yourself when you don’t accomplish all you had hoped to achieve.  Love yourself, fully and completely, and then love others in that very same way.  

Do one thing each day, even a small barely noticeable act, to make the world or the people in it just a little bit better.  Smile at the cashier, leave a 30% tip, hold the door for the slow-poke behind you, let the car that screwed up get in line in front of you, be patient with the annoying kid at the next table who isn’t letting you eat in peace, take a deep, full breath and appreciate life.  

Thank you for listening!

A Touch Goodbye

1 Comment

It was time to leave the only home I could remember.  Mom was yelling from the garage to “Come on, or we’re leaving without you!” as she hauled one last thing out to the pickup truck.  I stood in the middle of the room that had listened to my hopes, sheltered me from my nightmares, looked down on me as I grew from the four-year-old who got the room when her baby brother came along to the spindly-legged, frizzy-haired 12-year-old who realized her connection to this room only when she was told she had to leave it.  Just saying “goodbye, I’ll miss you” wasn’t enough.  Even if it meant I got in trouble for making us late, I had to take the time to press my palm against each wall of that room, creating a connection that only touch can provide.  Sharing my warmth with the drywall and white paint and 2’x4’s that created the space in which I’d grown up.  It’s that touch I remember even today, 42 years later.  It was touch that sealed it in my memory and made one moment last.