My birthday is still 21 days away and yet my age has been much on my mind.  I’ll be 55.  “Still Alive At 55” with the almost-the-same BeeGee’s “Staying Alive” playing softly in the background would be the theme for this year’s birthday party, if I had the energy to throw one.  I’d have folks come dressed in the fashion of any of the decades that I’ve lived through.  Since I was born with two months left to run in the 1950s, that gives everyone lots of choices when it comes to attire, from bobby socks and saddle shoes to hippie to disco to goth or punk or anything goes.

But almost all of our furniture is staging our home in Poway to help it sell, so we’re “glamping” at the new house and I’m not sure the lack of places to sit is conducive to hosting a party.  On the other hand, there’s lots of space to spread out and mingle, if you don’t mind standing or sitting on the bare floor!  I go back and forth and will let the time flitter away until it’s too late to send out invites and then I’ll wait for another year.  At some point I need to get my act together!

I’m feeling very much my age today.  For some reason out of the blue my back has started killing me this week — so I’m typing this at my stand-up desk and I took two Tylenol but I’m still much worse for the wear.  My husband and I explored our new neighborhood this morning, walking down to the beach that gives Ocean Beach its name, strolling through a little street fair and down to watch the dogs thoroughly enjoying themselves at Dog Beach, then a long walk up and down the OB Pier.

It was almost as beautiful during the day as it will be tonight at sunset, and I forgot all about my hurt back while I soaked in the ocean spray and rolling strength of the ocean.  I’m so blessed to live here, where a five-minute drive takes me to this gorgeous gift of nature and a crazy mix of people and stores and bars and apartments and peace and craziness rolled into one.

Yet despite all my blessings I keep finding myself in a funk these days.  I have no energy or passion for what I’m doing and the feeling that “Life’s Too Short” weighs heavily on my mind.  But I know this time in my life is preparing me, pressing me, moving me forward into the next phase of my life, and I just have to reach out and grab hold and GO!